Here’s something that always brings a smile to my face: When you stand in line ready to board your cruise ship, everyone is in a good mood! Your fellow passengers are going on vacation! The airline experience getting there is behind them! Their luggage is safely in the hands of the stevedores. They are all looking forward to their first cocktail. What better way is there to make new friends?
Let us assume you have made some great connections onboard. They might be your dinner companions. You met people at singles parties. You found other people who like to dance. Everyone has a great tale to tell. How do you keep the party going when you get back home?
Some people will be local. You live in the same city. Keeping in touch is easy. My wife and I tend to make friends from faraway places. Because we make an effort to keep in close touch, we know former shipmates (and others met elsewhere) on six continents. We don’t know anyone from Antarctica yet!
The longest shipboard relationship might be 15 years. Friends met elsewhere that are included in the same group are approaching 40 years. Many we have not seen face to face in decades! Others we have entertained at our house or traveled with on subsequent vacations.
In one instance we booked a trip on the Cunard ship Queen Anne. It was the naming ceremony voyage, circling the British Isles. We were traveling with a British couple we met on the Christmas cruise aboard another Cunard ship, Queen Mary 2. While enjoying the walk around orientation tour on Queen Anne, I heard my name called! It was another couple we met years ago on another Cunard ship, Queen Victoria. We kept in touch. She knew we had booked this cruise. She and her husband booked it too. They didn’t tell us ahead of time!
How do we develop enduring friendships with people we meet on cruises?
- We exchange contact information before disembarking. In the distant past, on the final night at dinner, everyone at the table would pass around their menus, filling in contact information to stay in touch. Today, it’s e-mail addresses. This is often done away from dinner on the final night, because sometimes you meet people who would not want to keep in touch with you and vice versa. Exchange contact information before the last day.
- Be the first to write. You have taken pictures. Everyone is happy. They are well dressed on a formal night. You asked your dining room steward to take pictures. They did. Now you have great photos. This is an ideal opportunity to reach out and share that great photo of the other couple.
- We write monthly. I send individual e-mails at the start of every month. These start as a block of text I write as a WORD document, but I try to customize each one. I send photos when possible. These messages deal with our everyday activities back home. There is no bragging. Photos of the pets or garden are good touches. This started as a quarterly message. During Covid it became biweekly. After the lockdown it became monthly.
- Write back personal messages when you get a response. The British are great letter writers. Perhaps they dictate and their phone composes the text. Whatever they do, they share lots of information about their everyday lives. These replies must be answered immediately. It keeps the conversation going.
- Talk about your travel plans. It is logical you would want to see each other again. Share the details of any upcoming trips. Offer advice when you hear about cities they might be visiting. It might be new to them, but familiar to you. They will return the favor.
- Plan to travel together again. Our travel plans are greatly influenced by those who might be on the same voyage. We keep in touch about each other’s travel plans. We try to align it so we can get together on a cruise, sitting at the same table for dinner. It adds another fun dimension to your vacation.
- Get addresses for mailing Christmas cards. We love sending printed Christmas cards by surface mail. This requires physical mailing addresses. We get these as our correspondence becomes more regular. We include a holiday letter highlighting what we have been doing that year. We have found the British are very big on sending cards.
- Extend an invitation to stay with you. This might never happen, but it is nice to do. Several of our friends we met on vacation have been houseguests. They often return the favor. It is great fun showing an overseas friend what everyday life is like in the US.
- Plan to get together if their cruise visits a city near you. We met a couple on Queen Mary 2. They live in Hamburg, Germany. When we flew over to visit the Christmas market in Frankfurt, they drove across their country and stayed overnight in Frankfurt, just to have dinner with us! When we have friends visiting New York on a cruise, we drive into the City, pick them up at the pier, show them a great day and bring them back to their ship. This adds to their enjoyment and strengthens the relationship.
- Do they prefer video calls? Sending e-mails is our primary way of keeping in touch, yet the pandemic lockdown brought some closer connections. We know a British couple with whom we have a weekly Skype call every Thursday. A friend in London is our weekly audio call on Tuesdays. It’s like you never left! You are still together! Everyone is very upbeat!
We have been fortunate to make wonderful friendships at sea. We have found they are very easy to convert into enduring personal friendships.
Editor’s Notes:
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Cover photo Bryce and Jane Queen Victoria
