Good Manners Can Make a Difference on Cruise Ship Vacation

My wife will be the first to tell you I overdress. When we fly, I wear a suit. I give thought to what I will wear when heading out to the supermarket. Years ago, a cruise ship speaker during Fashion Week explained: “When leaving the house, always dress like you might run into your high school rival.” His logic was (if you do not make an effort) they will immediately call their friends and say: “I saw (you) in the store today. They look terrible!” Yes, I think it is important to make an effort. This includes having manners when vacationing on a cruise ship.

There are many types of ships catering to many types of passengers. Regardless of the line and level of formality you have chosen, mannerly behavior shows other people you were “raised properly.” Behaving nicely should not be a problem. On a cruise ship, everyone should be in good spirits, ready to have a good time.

Let us consider fourteen simple examples of good behavior on cruise ships.

Elevators. Let people off before attempting to enter the elevator. Ask others which deck they want. If anyone has a walker or wheelchair, be extra courteous. Do not try squeezing onto a crowded elevator.
Lunch in the dining room. Unless you have a reason for preferring a table for two, I let the maître ‘d know “seating us at a large table is fine.” As other people are seated at the table, introduce yourself to your fellow diners.
Respect the dress code. Some cruise ships are really casual. Others use the expression “country club casual.” Others are formal. If a Gala Night is announced, try to make an effort to dress up. Another couple at your table might be celebrating a milestone anniversary and this cruise is the trip of a lifetime. You don’t want to spoil the moment for them. If you prefer dressing down, you have the buffet restaurant or in stateroom dining as one of your options.
Dinner at an assigned dining room seating. Although Freedom Dining has become popular, we prefer the routine of dining at a set time with the same people at a large table. It is good manners for everyone to arrive more or less at the same time.
Changing your dining plans. Many ships have alternative dining venues. If you are opting for the steakhouse tomorrow might, you should let your table servers know and ideally your fellow dining companions. Otherwise, they will be concerned something happened to you.
Interacting with the wine steward. We are wine fans and often bring special bottles from home. We realize a corkage charge is involved. We leave 25% to 30% of the wine in the bottle, explaining it is for the wine steward to share with the sommelier team. This builds lots of goodwill!
Enjoying wine at the table. On the first night, we order a bottle of (not too expensive) wine and ask the wine steward to offer it to everyone around the table. You can usually tell if this will be the protocol on successive nights. Some people order their own bottle, keeping it to themselves. If you aren’t going to share or buy a bottle for the table, you shouldn’t accept wine from others when it is offered around.
When to start eating. If you are seated at a large table, it is polite to wait until everyone has their food in front of them before you start eating yours. If there is a delay, the person with the missing plate might say: “Please start.” This can absolve you of the need to wait.
Deck chairs. Often, there never seem to be enough! If you are going to leave your chair briefly, it is OK to “mark your territory” with a book, sunglasses or other personal item. It is considered rude to disappear for an hour or so for lunch, expecting your deck chair to be waiting for you upon your return.
When disembarking, don’t rush the line. Certain behavior that is acceptable on the NYC subway is out of place on cruise ships. When people are disembarking for a shore excursion, politely wait your turn. The bus will not depart until everyone is aboard.
Cabin steward. Shortly after arrival, you will meet your cabin steward, the person making up your bed, changing towels and generally keeping your cabin in order. Try to make their job as easy as possible by clearing up your personal items before leaving your cabin for the day. Treat them as equals. Smile. Don’t treat them like a servant.
Try to be on time. This is important for shore excursions and critical before the ship sails. If the ship leaves without you, there is often a Plan B, so you can rejoin the ship in the next port, but it will likely be inconvenient. Don’t be one of those passengers whose name is announced when the ship’s horn is sounded.
Gratuities added to your stateroom account. This is the procedure followed by most cruise ships today, unless tipping is included in your base fare. Although you might be able to visit the Purser’s Office and ask for this charge to be removed, don’t do it. The crew works very hard. They do not have 9:00 to 5:00 jobs with weekends off. Assume the money they receive in tips is getting sent to their family back home.
Tipping with white envelopes. This is how tipping used to be done. You can still request envelopes from the Purser’s Office. They can change larger bills into smaller bills too. Handing an envelope to each of the staff who attended to your needs during the voyage is appreciated. Unlike the automatic gratuity added to your bill, cash in small envelopes goes entirely to the person receiving it.

When everyone is gracious, the experience is wonderful for all concerned.

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